I’m one of those people who looks for the lesson in everything, sometimes annoyingly so. Most of the times it’s a great thing but there have been times where I’ve almost driven myself nuts trying to find the reason behind things.
What do I do in those moments or situations when I just don’t get it? Or when I can’t seem to mentally figure out why something happened the way it did/when it did/how it did? I remind myself that even though I may not see the reason initially, I do understand that 1 of 2 things will happen; either the reason will reveal itself in time, or being ok with things as they are without seeing the obvious reason, is the reason or lesson. Some might call it presence, zen, or being-ok-with-whatever-is-going-on-and-still-living-a-happy-and-fulfilled-life.
And yes, I’m clearly Canadian. 🙂
OK, so here’s #1 of my 3 ways to change your life…
DEAL WITH YOUR S#*T – If you’ve identified a problem/issue/concern/circumstance/etc in your life that you are not OK with, (as in it upsets/bothers/frustrates/irritates/exacerbates/annoys you-you get the picture) you have 3 choices;
Complain about it (this is usually done to other people that can’t do anything about the situation and gets you nowhere really, aside from all fired up and left with feeling blechy because you have all those pent up negative vibes coursing through your veins now).
Avoid it (as a recovering avoider, I speak from experience when I say that this is the WORST option. Not only is the problem sucking the life out of you, permeating your thoughts and sabotaging your happy happy, it’s not going anywhere. It will remain front and centre for as long as you continue to avoid dealing with it. At best, you’ll fool yourself into thinking that you’re handling it by trying not to think about it, in which case you’re still thinking about it and it’s still draining your mojo like a battery with a rogue entity stealing it’s charge. invisible and relentless).
Deal with it. You know there’s an issue. Find a way to deal with it. You do this by:
Talking with a trusted friend (NOT the one that always tells you what you want to hear and adds fuel to your fire by telling you you’re completely justified in what you’re thinking/feeling and offers no helpful advice other than to put ex-lax in the offender’s coffee like something out of a dumb movie ;))
Taking steps to address the issue. Big steps, small steps, the size of the step is not as important as the fact that you just take a step. This helps you feel some sense of control – because you’re using your valuable energy to do something about it and not to avoid it – and takes the intensity out of the situation so it doesn’t loom so heavily over you.
It’s quite possible that you may never see the situation resolved the way you initially expected, but that won’t even matter. It’s not about the outcome in this case, it’s about the process. It’s about what changes occur in YOU when you take action. It creates this ripple effect in your brain that says things like, “Hey! What’s going on? He/she is doing something about this nagging situation. This isn’t our usual avoidance protocol”, followed by, “Hmmm, this is new and weird and kinda scary but I also kinda like it. It actually feels good”, and also, “What else can we do with little effort and big benefit? WE could totally take over the world!!!”
It’s far more about the person you become in the process, than the getting of the end result. Besides, once you start taking action on things and see how super capable you are of calling the shots and being in control of YOUR life, the thing that got you started on this new and exciting journey in the first place probably won’t even phase you anymore.
You’ll see way beyond that to far bigger and better things to set your new action-taking awesome sights on.
Stay tuned for my mind blowing #2 way to change your life in the next blog.