Your happiness is dependent upon the meaning you attach to your life and life experience. What you make your life experience mean and the beliefs you’ve adopted and lived by. Try this on for size; If you fail, it’s on you. If you succeed, it’s on you. When you take 100% responsibility for your life and you understand and accept that your “so-called” failures and your greatest successes are a result of your doing, you are destined for greatness. No more blaming life circumstances, people or things beyond your control. No more giving your power away.
You will have likely reacted in one of two ways to reading my words. Those words will either make you incredibly angry, or incredibly inspired.
I find it beautifully liberating to comprehend that if I fail (and I use the term loosely because I don’t believe in failure, I believe in lessons learned and new paths taken), but if I fail, it’s on me. If I succeed, that is also on me. There is genuine power in this mindset. My belief about failure is an example of a meaning that I’ve attached to my life. A principle I’ve adopted.
Life Experience and Success
Think of the most successful people you know of. How many of them do you think had significant struggles, childhood trauma, difficult life circumstances in their young lives? I’d be willing to bet that it’s most of them.
As Ed Mylett said in an interview with Rachel Hollis, “successful people repurpose the messes of their lives in a way that others don’t.”
As for Ed’s quote, it’s the best advice you may ever receive if you’re looking to change your life. Read it again. Successful people are successful because of what they’ve been though and the meaning they’ve attached to their life experience. They decided to make it mean something good, or to see the good in it. They’ve allowed meaning to take place in a way that benefits not only them, but others.
Pick Your Path
Rachel goes on to say, “when you walk through a trauma or have had a hard childhood, you take one of two paths. You’re either a victim and you let that define you or it will be the leverage you need to get to the place that you’re going.”
I personally agree 100% with Ms. Hollis. I’ve done that walk, spent many years defining myself by it, and then reframed it and finally moved on. I had childhood trauma and I let it determine and define who I was as a person, how I showed up in the world, and what I believed about my worth. I also spent years battling depression, anxiety and ptsd and was on and off meds. The day I decided I had to save myself was the day the trajectory of my life changed. How? I reframed what my life experience meant.
Today I’m happy, healthy, off meds, lost weight and I am very much at peace.
Life Experience and Meaning
The meaning we attach to events controls everything. Your thoughts, your beliefs about yourself and about others, your behaviour, your relationships. The way you live your life. Are you optimistic or pessimistic? What’s your outlook and where did it come from? Look at your life experience and what it means to you.
I finally got to a point in my life where I was able to see that my life experience has provided me with the tools to help others. What greater gift could there possibly be? Everything I’ve been through (which, by the way, I don’t think is all that different from most) has led me to where I am now. I am in a very powerful place because I know my worth, I know how I can help people, I know my gifts and I know that everything I went through was meant to transform me into the person I am.
Your wounds don’t make you weak. They make you a warrior, and you are uniquely equipped to help certain people that others may not be able to help. You will say the words that are exactly the words they need to hear and you have life experience that they can relate to. You may be someone’s saving grace.
THAT IS YOUR GIFT.
THAT IS THE MEANING YOU NEED TO ATTACH TO YOUR DIFFICULT LIFE EXPERIENCE.